Dear Mr. Young:
You have been the object of my squee since I was old enough to have a celebrity mega crush. Even though I am now older, engaged, and have moved on to other objects of squee like Gabe Kapler and Jason Bay, you will always be my number one.
I try to catch your commentary on Monday Night Football every Monday. (I must say, Emmitt Smith makes you sound even more eloquent than you already are.) Although I had to work late on Monday, I was able to catch your post-game analysis after the Packers-Saints game. While watching, I had one overwhelming question:
Did you dye it? It looked much lighter. Is your hair negatively reacting to the New Orleans weather? If so, I can point you in the direction of some excellent anti-frizz products. (Then again, so could your ex-model wife.) Are you so busy with your multiple children that you didn’t have time to comb it? If so, that is completely excusable – you have like five now, and not everyone can look as good as Kate Gossalin when running after their multiple young children.
I feel bad for you, and I feel even worse for pointing out in a public forum. However, I just want you to know that I’ll still be a fan, through good hair and bad, through ESPN moving you off Sunday NFL Countdown because they no longer wanted commentators with an IQ higher than 80 and your Samsung HD television advertisements where you are inexplicably wearing shabby flip-flops.
Sports Girl Kat
Your #10 fan since 1992
I am off to see the Boston University Terriers take on the Crusaders of the College of the Holy Cross. The Terriers have played very well against non-conference opponents this season – they are undefeated against them – but we know what we’re pretending didn’t happen last weekend. Let’s hope this evening ends well.