Category Archives: San Fransisco 49ers

Mr. Young, I Have a Problem With Your Hair.

Dear Mr. Young:

You have been the object of my squee since I was old enough to have a celebrity mega crush. Even though I am now older, engaged, and have moved on to other objects of squee like Gabe Kapler and Jason Bay, you will always be my number one.

I try to catch your commentary on Monday Night Football every Monday. (I must say, Emmitt Smith makes you sound even more eloquent than you already are.) Although I had to work late on Monday, I was able to catch your post-game analysis after the Packers-Saints game. While watching, I had one overwhelming question:

What happened to your hair?

Did you dye it? It looked much lighter. Is your hair negatively reacting to the New Orleans weather? If so, I can point you in the direction of some excellent anti-frizz products. (Then again, so could your ex-model wife.) Are you so busy with your multiple children that you didn’t have time to comb it? If so, that is completely excusable – you have like five now, and not everyone can look as good as Kate Gossalin when running after their multiple young children.

I feel bad for you, and I feel even worse for pointing out in a public forum. However, I just want you to know that I’ll still be a fan, through good hair and bad, through ESPN moving you off Sunday NFL Countdown because they no longer wanted commentators with an IQ higher than 80 and your Samsung HD television advertisements where you are inexplicably wearing shabby flip-flops.

Best wishes,

Sports Girl Kat

Your #10 fan since 1992


I am off to see the Boston University Terriers take on the Crusaders of the College of the Holy Cross. The Terriers have played very well against non-conference opponents this season – they are undefeated against them – but we know what we’re pretending didn’t happen last weekend. Let’s hope this evening ends well.

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Filed under Boston University hockey, BU Terriers, college hockey, football, hockey, Monday Night Football, NFL, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The air is crisp.  I broke out my vast collection of lightweight coats.  Everything is pumpkin or apple flavored or scented or both.  A new TV season starts (although, truth being told, I only watch three shows that aren’t sports related.)  Those things alone makes late September wonderful…but then, let’s add:

  • the start of football season
  • the pennant race
  • NHL and AHL training camps
  • and, most importantly, the countdown to college hockey season. (T minus 8 days, if you are a Boston University men’s hockey fan, and if you follow the women’s team, 2 days.)

Those aspects alone make this time of year one of my favorites.  It’s all sports, all the time.  I can’t complain.

In addition to these general reasons why late September is wonderful, here are four things making this week better than most:

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Filed under Boston Red Sox, Boston University hockey, BU Terriers, Buffalo Bills, college hockey, ESPN, hockey, John Curry, NFL, NHL, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young, Uncategorized

On Excitement and Nervousness

I remember this combination of dread and excitement. I remember feeling it every morning of every 49ers playoff game in January 1995, back when I eschewed the Bills to make lovey-dovey eyes every time Steve Young appeared on the television screen or sports section. (I had just turned 13 – ripe age for a celebrity mega crush!) I wanted Steve Young and the 49ers to win the Super Bowl so badly that they, and not my then sickly two month old little brother, was what I prayed for when my CCD instructor made us repeat the Apostles Creed like the Rosary was made of it. (There’s a reason it’s not.) Continue reading

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Filed under Boston University hockey, BU Terriers, college hockey, Dallas Cowboys, hockey, Hockey East, playoffs, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young, UMass announcer, UMass Lowell Riverhawks

Kat’s Job Search (But not really)

If the Niners’ want to continue being the penny-pinching misers that they’ve shown with this week’s hiring of Mike Nolan, then why not hire me?


(insert daydream music here)

Katherine’s Resume

Objective: To become head coach or general manager of the San Francisco 49ers, everyone’s favorite downtrodden NFL franchise.


Boston University

Ed.M in Higher Education Administration, Expected May 2005

Binghamton University

B.A. in History, Minor in Art History, May 2004

Ithaca College

Studied Sports Information and Communication, 2000-2001


Yahoo Fantasy Football Leagues August 2004-Janurary 2005

Finished 4 in both a 10 member and 12 member leagues, had the smart idea to pick up Brandon Stokley and Jerome Bettis just on a hunch, rode McNabb and a WR not to be named because you had problems with him to a very good regular season record until said WR had to go and hurt his freaken ankle.

Steve Young Fan January 1993-Present

Spent my formative teenage years obsessing over your former quarterback, at one point could recite his QB rating per year, what the formula was for the QB rating, and could tell you how many rushing yards he had cumulative to 1994, could also tell you when he graduated from law school, and often corrected people who thought he had brown eyes, not blue. Has taught me to be more tolerant of Republicans and to embrace Michael Irvin for the idiot he is. I can also pretty much name the entire roster of your 1994-95 Super Bowl team due to Steve Young’s inclusion on it. (Example: Off the top of my head, I can tell you the QB roster, which was Young, Elvis Gerbac, and Bill Musgrave, and can note that Doug Brien, the now embattled Jets kicker, was the kicker for said team, and that John Taylor was still on the team at that point, oh and that Brent Jones too went to BYU law, and that I often got him and Harris Barton confused, and that Steve Wallace wore a double helmet. I could go on, but I’ll spare you the memories of your glory years.)

Mountainview Housing Office Pick The Winners Regular Season Champion Fall 2003

Kicked everyone in the office’s butt when it came to picking a select number of games per week.

Extracurricular Activities:

Recreational Madden 2003 player (although I’ll admit my favourite facets of the game are the field goal training camp drills and playing the 1994 Niners versus the 1995 Niners on automatic mode. Oh, and switching Steve Young to being a Buffalo Bill.)

Requesting Salary:

$29,000 per year

(see, I’m cheap!)

(end daydream)

….see? I think I’m well qualified for what they’re willing to pay. I mean, hire me, save money, and then maybe they could use the rest to sign actual players who might make the cut on some AFC teams (some, not all. No need to get unrealistic for the rebuilding process here.)

I’m not saying that the hiring of Nolan is a farce. I mean, I did draft the Ravens defense in like the third round of the MCFFLOAT this year. Me, the non-defense girl, took a defense early. I mean, that speaks volumes about Nolan’s previous work.

However, here’s my problem, and it reflects my all-offense-all-the-time-girliness: Out of the three facets of the Niners, I feel the offense needs the most work. In the NFC, the Niners defense finished 12th, while the offense finished 13th (surprising, isn’t it? Worst team in the league, yet they are not the worst team statistically in the NFC…). However, in they finished -17 in take/give aways, meaning the Niners’ QB’s were intercepted 18 times, their players fumbled 16, all while their defense was on par or better with the Vikings and Packers (two playoff teams, by the way) in total takeaways (passes they intercepted and the fumbles they forced that resulted in a Niner procession.) The rushing and receiving statistics are pretty dismal. However, I mean, this is a team that held the Patriots to 7 points in a half, and a team that was able to shut down the Cardinals twice. I need to look at more statistics, but take those short ones and then add on that the most significant veterans they have are on defense, and that that side of the ball was put together by Jim Mora Jr. (who really isn’t a jr.) before he fled for Vick-land. They need to address the offense more than they need to do anything else, and while I recognize the oft-contended point that just because a coach is previously a defensive coordinator, doesn’t mean they will be a defensive minded head coach, I just think that a guy with such a heavy defensive background like Nolan isn’t the best guy for them. They need someone better rounded. I don’t know who they should have hired, but there has to be someone out there who would be able to address both sides of the ball effectively. But really, if the offense doesn’t improve, all the defense in the world isn’t going to help you much (i.e. the Ravens non-existent playoff appearance this season). And I don’t know if drafting a QB is the answer either. I mean, they have totally young QBs in their stable now, and no strong offensive coaching staff to develop them, and no effective offensive line to protect them. Even if you had Matt Leinart (who didn’t declare anyway), even all his USC magic would not go far if he was open to sacks like the Cask and Flagon to a Red Sox post-victory crowd.

I could go on and on. I just feel that they settled with Nolan because 1) his dad was a Niners’ coach in the 70s and 2) he’s going to be able to be paid less than say, Romeo Crennel or Jim Fassel. And that’s the bottom line with the York ownership: cheapness.



This week was the first week of classes at Boston University for the spring semester, meaning my winter break is officially over. Thus, the break of massive reading has ended. I ended up reading five books (Moneyball, False Start: How the New Browns Were Set Up to Fail, Committed: Tales of a Fantasy Football Junkie, Hockey in Rochester, and He’s Just Not Into You) and starting a sixth (Faithful). Here are my Winter Break O’ Reading Awards:

Best: (tie) Committed and Moneyball. Both astounding books: Moneyball for having so many of those lightbulb moments for me, because I am behind in understanding baseball as well as I do football or hockey, and Committed for making me laugh hystarically while also making me realize that not only are there war weirder people than me out there, but there women who have seriously taken up fantasy football up there with the hardcore bar regulars.

Most Whiney: False Start. Hands down, one of the most annoying books I’ve ever read. I was that close to finishing it, but I had to take a break because the constant talking in the second person (“You guys feel like the NFL cheated you? They did cheat you! You are miserable because the NFL is evil. Carmen Policy and you are not friends!”) Like, dude, I know people in Cleveland are miserable, but gosh, can you make less annoying arguments as to why the Browns had no control over their suckiness?

Most Degrading: He’s Just Not Into You. I’m glad to know that I, as a women, have to sit around and not take control of my own romantic life and wait around forever for any guys to ever show an interest in me, and then turn 75% of those guys who do show an interest in me down because they don’t bring me flowers every 5 seconds and/or want to spend time with their family or friends at some points. I’m also glad to know that despite how this book came about, men and women should not be friends, especially not men and women who used to date each other. Bull. Sure, there are some valid points to be learned through this book for the large majority of girls, like “get over a guy real quick once he breaks up with you, and don’t stalk them and/or call him up multiple times bawling.” But yo, I already knew that. I mean, I am Miss Queen of Successful Breakups. Basically I hate this book because it’s all about being passive, and the only active you take is dumping or rejecting guys. Last I checked, successful people weren’t successful because they were passive in life.

Best Pictures and Least Interesting to Anyone Who Is Not Me: Hockey in Rochester. Well, I’ll admit, unlike what I had thought before I got it for my birthday, it’s mainly a picture book. But a good one. The author racked tons of archives to trace hockey’s development and history in Rochester, which is pretty darn significant considering it’s all we do as Western New Yorkers. Very informative captions, but unfortunately only one Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre sighting, which is in the corner of a picture about one of the Amerks goalies. Sigh…how can they overlook the best looking Amerk of all time?!

If It Was Released Any Other Year, No One Would Buy It: Faithful. This is the first Stephen King book I’ve ever read. It’s also pointless if you don’t like the Red Sox and would be pointless had the Red Sox not won the World Series this year. However, I enjoy it, and will be fitting it in around my schoolwork.

And Best Movie of Break (okay, I know these are book awards, but I had to throw it in here): In Good Company. Awesome movie. Definitely worth all the hype that I had built up for myself after seeing the preview a few months back.


I was in the first day of my Distance Education course the other day, and the professor mentioned, “…the needs of adult learners, such as yourselves…”

I looked around the room, and began the following internal conversation: “Sure, they’re all adults in this class…wait. Does he think I’m an adult? No, I’m not. I’m 23. I’m still a…oh wait. I’m 23. I’m an adult. No, I can’t be. Nope, I think I’m an adult. Oh my gosh, I’m an adult. A grown up. I’m not a kid. I may still look like one, but nope, definitely an adult.”

That was the most depressing moment, like, ever.


Filed under 2005, fantasy football, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young

Christmas in September: The Dolphins, Week 3 picks, and a Plea to the NHL

The following thought came to me while walking to the T Friday morning, and I had to share:

It’s Christmas in September, thanks to the Miami Dolphins.


Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week.

In case you are football illiterate, the Dolphins have always had this tendency to really…how do I put this kindly…suck around December. Several sportswriters always make reference to the annual December downfall of the Dolphins (and not just because it’s excellent alliteration.) But this year, they’ve decided to not have actual ready-for-the-NFL quarterbacks, and therefore, their suckiness has come along four months early. Nice to all of us of fans of other teams in the AFC East, because it means the constant threat of “this actually is the Dolphins’ year” doesn’t exist. Great news to us Bills fans–it means we actually might be better than someone this year. Squishing the fish shouldn’t be too hard this year, providing Bledsoe maintains the limited quarterbacking capacity he has left. It might actually be a good game…and by good, I mean, “evenly matched up.” I didn’t actually mean the teams were good. Oh no, not at all.

But is this game this weekend? No. Do I get to get phone calls from my parents talk about squishing fish and reminiscing about the infamous “Mom causing Dan Marino’s freak devastating ACL injury in 1993” incident, which led my father for years following to ask us all when we hurt ourselves, “Oh, is it your anterior cruciate ligament?” thinking that was the most witty remark he could ever make? (I don’t even know if it was an ACL injury to Marino–but in Hasenauer lore it is.)


It is a bye for the Pats and Bills. Unfortunately, it is not for the Niners. Can the Niners’ go on a permanent bye until Donahue and the rest of his front office decides that in football, money is for spending, not sitting on? Great, you’re rebuilding your team with draft picks. Fine. That’s a commendable way to go. However…if you don’t have veterans, who are the draft picks supposed to emulate? Sure, they have…like one veteran. Jeremy Newberry, who is now out indefinitely, and who wasn’t the best offensive lineman ever in the first place (he’s the one who missed the block that allowed Aeneas Williams to sack Steve Young to end his career) counts as their like one veteran. Tim Rattay? Not a veteran. Okay, wait, they have a really good cornerback guy that I read about in ESPN the Magazine…and he’s not such the young chicken. Oh okay. I was wrong. The Niners have two veterans. My mistake.

Mind you, due to work, I have yet to watch a good amount of football yet this season, and we are entering week 3. This is a travesty. However, I have set aside this Sunday to wake up at 10, eat breakfast, then sit in bed and watch Steve Young out yell Michael Irvin for two hours while Chris Berman screams random things about frozen tundras. It’s good stuff. For those unaware, that’s the equivalent of watching a debate between that good looking and amazingly successful guy everyone hates because he just knows he’s right and has some kind of debate training to back it up and a frantic drug addict who insists that he’s right despite the fact that he couldn’t tell you that 2 + 2 = 4, all while your middle aged goofy uncle attempts to referee. Oh, and after that I’ll watch some football games, all while writing a paper about the “double edged sword” of community colleges. Ahh, some things never change: Sundays = football and homework. Well, until next year, when it equals just football, which will be amazingly weird.

So providing that I’ve neglected picking games so far this season due to my busy schedule and my need to devote appropriate time to my fantasy standings, I give you my picks for Week 3. I may be rusty, so let me feel it out this weekend.

St. Louis over New Orleans (I am the most iffy about this one)

Pittsburgh over Miami (Go Class of ’04!)

Minnesota over Chicago (I hate the Vikings. I pity the Bears. However, I am realistic.)

Giants over Cleveland (Hate Garcia. The Browns also lost like their whole offense last week, so Garcia must be lamenting that he would of had more offensive weapons right now on the Niners than he does right now with the Browns.)

Atlanta over Arizona (Vick = A cocky Steve Young. Arizona = worst team ever except for Fitzgerald and the fact that their coach is Dennis Green. My family is partial to Green, and I don’t really know why, but we always have been.)

Indianapolis over Green Bay (This is Manning’s league right now, whether he deserves it or not.)

Baltimore over Cincinnati (and if they don’t, I’m screwed fantasy wise)

Philadelphia over Detroit (Love ya Mooch. However, I adore the anchors of both my fantasy teams just a bit more, and after Monday night, I am convinced that I made the right decision with them.)

Tennessee over Jacksonville (Second least sure about. I hope I get to see some of this one–I don’t know what either team is really like this year, and seeing them is ten times better than reading about them after a while.)

Kansas City over Houston (The Chiefs are due. They aren’t as bad as everyone is making them out to be. They just have senile, weirdo, or both coaches and coordinators.)

Denver over San Diego (Bring back Flutie!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, you know Flutie would beat Plummer. You know Flutie would beat Drew Brees for that matter. Or maybe it’s just I who will still be picking Flutie when he’s 60 and doing Canadian infomericals.)

Seattle over San Fransisico (Sniffle, sniffle, tear. Dorsey’s hot. Rattay’s not bad. Why must they lose?)

Oakland over Tampa Bay (Even though Oakland got rid of Rick Mirer. He’s gone to a better place, and that would be backing up Joey Harrington. Sigh…where did the Class of 1993 go wrong?)

Washington over Dallas (Feel better soon, Brunell. Although I have been told never to pick against Parcells, I think it’s safe to this year.)

I think I’ll be lucky if I go 7-7 this week. It takes a week for me to get into the swing of the season.


Welcome to the SAO:

Two weekends ago, I had to take the student group I advise on a retreat, and the car ride activity in the van I was in was to name your Top 5. Of course, I being the new intern, I was one of the first targets. Of the top of my head I named:

1) Steve Young

2) Mark Brunell

3) Tom Brady

4) Jerome Ignilia

5) Gabe Kapler

Not that those are really my top 5, but they were what I could come up with at the time. My boss laughed at me, and when we were talking about it in the office a few days later, said, “To name her top 5, all you do is just name 3-4 NFL quarterbacks and then fill the rest with two random athletes.”

I beg to differ. Gabe Kapler is not a random athlete. He’s the hottest baseball player ever to exist in the history of the game. That’s definitely not random.


A short plea to the NHL:

Dear NHL players, owners, and involved parties;

I have recently become single again, therefore I need you to start playing so that I can be easily distracted from my single status. I also have become somewhat attached to writing papers while listening to NHL Radio online, and I fear without that to listen to, my grades will diminish. While I understand I’m probably the last one holding out hope left in America, and that this further proves what a Canadian I really am, I hope that you all take my reasons into account.

Thank you for your time and consideration.



So I take the bus to work about 60% of the time now. And they have these prerecorded announcements that order us, the T riders, to “report any suspicious activity to the driver,” like the subway does.

Have you ever taken a bus in Boston? If I followed those instructions, I would be sitting in the driver’s lap the duration of my 20 minute ride.


Personal Note of the Week: I am 3 for 3 in “not only keeping all composure while being dumped, but in keeping the guy as a friend.” I need to teach classes in this. I am single handedly transforming the stereotype of the dumped girl, one breakup of mine at a time.

I’ll give you secret #1, free of charge.

1) Have six tons of work due the next day.

It’s saved me quite a few times, if not all.


I have yet to catch the new season of Dream Job because I work Tuesday nights, and ESPN is not repeating it yet, but it doesn’t surprise me that the two top contestants right now are Syracuse alums. When I went to the auditions back in July, the guy I thought would definitely make it from Boston was a Syracuse alum. They’re extremely well-spoken and definitely know what they’re doing. This guy had resumes, a tape of his work, references, detailed writing examples…when we hadn’t been asked to bring anything. It was hard core.

It also sounds like the women stink this year. I will make no comment on that, except that you could of avoided that by picking any girl from Boston. It makes me not wonder if they don’t want the women to succeed…but I’ll wait to pass judgment until I can actually see an episode.

Realistically, could I ever make it on Dream Job? Heck no. I mean, in case you haven’t noticed, I stutter. Not the best trait for a sportscaster to have. So I don’t mind sitting back and watching.

If I ever get to catch an episode, that is.


Signs that my life is wicked different than it was five months ago:

It’s sad when you get up at 8:30, and you consider that sleeping in.

I can shop at Sephora.

My jeans are collecting dust because I can’t wear them to work.

I can go shopping at the Pru and at Copley on my free Friday nights. (I love Back Bay on Friday and Saturday nights. It’s the epitome of what I dreamed my life in Boston would be like.)

But some things never change: I work either Friday or Saturday night every weekend, and it’s September, and I’m battling laryngitis.

Till next time…

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Filed under Boston MA, Buffalo Bills, ESPN, fantasy football, football picks, hockey, NFL, NHL, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young, Uncategorized