Category Archives: Monday Night Football

Please Don’t Touch Mr. Young. It Makes Me Sad.

I just read on Awful Announcing that Steve Young was in rare form Monday evening during Monday Night Countdown and the post-game show.

steve-young-smileFirst off, he called ESPN “dumb.” Oh Steve, for all of your smarts, you can sure put your foot in your mouth sometimes. Like the time you called out Phil Simms on national television. I despise Simms as well, and think he was wicked overrated as a quarterback (just like his son), but I’d never call him out on it on national television.

Hmm…maybe I would, but I would do it under a pseudonym and hide for a few weeks following.

Steve, I’ll offer you the same piece of advice I offered Bill Simmons a few months ago. Don’t publicly “dis” your employer. Don’t blog on a underground Blogger account about how ESPN is the man and how they don’t let you post every 7,000 word tomb you write, even if you have a legitimate point. Don’t call out ESPN on ESPN, even if you have pent up anger about having to do a show with Emmitt “I Have Never Heard of Subject-Verb Agreement” Smith and Stuart “Boo-yah!” Scott. Both are examples of burning bridges. I tell my students all the time not to burn bridges, especially with employers, potential employers, and the like. If you ever want a job, it probably isn’t a good idea to burn bridges.

Steve and Bill, you need a career counselor to give you the counseling you obviously didn’t receive at Brigham Young and Holy Cross, respectively. I volunteer. Email me. I’ll help you.

Secondly, in the most egregious assault of one of my favorite athletes since Saturday night’s BU-BC game, a Carolina Panthers fan threw a beer cup at Steve Young. Fortunately, he missed. Steve stayed calm and professional throughout the incident, which does not surprise me. Think about it. For one, he’s a lawyer. Lawyers get stuff thrown at them all the time. (Well, I mean, not all the time. But they are the recipients of a lot of vile comments and hate, which are metaphorically thrown at them. Right?) Additionally, Steve Young has like five children under the age of 10. He has toys, clothes, diapers and cut-up-bits of food thrown at him every single minute of his waking life.

Therefore, having a empty beer cup thrown at him was not going to phase Steve Young. Nothing phases Steve, except for sharing a show with Emmitt Smith or Michael Irvin. But then again, wouldn’t that bug you too?

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Filed under Bill Simmons, ESPN, football, Monday Night Football, Steve Young

Mr. Young, I Have a Problem With Your Hair.

Dear Mr. Young:

You have been the object of my squee since I was old enough to have a celebrity mega crush. Even though I am now older, engaged, and have moved on to other objects of squee like Gabe Kapler and Jason Bay, you will always be my number one.

I try to catch your commentary on Monday Night Football every Monday. (I must say, Emmitt Smith makes you sound even more eloquent than you already are.) Although I had to work late on Monday, I was able to catch your post-game analysis after the Packers-Saints game. While watching, I had one overwhelming question:

What happened to your hair?
steveyoung1124

Did you dye it? It looked much lighter. Is your hair negatively reacting to the New Orleans weather? If so, I can point you in the direction of some excellent anti-frizz products. (Then again, so could your ex-model wife.) Are you so busy with your multiple children that you didn’t have time to comb it? If so, that is completely excusable – you have like five now, and not everyone can look as good as Kate Gossalin when running after their multiple young children.

I feel bad for you, and I feel even worse for pointing out in a public forum. However, I just want you to know that I’ll still be a fan, through good hair and bad, through ESPN moving you off Sunday NFL Countdown because they no longer wanted commentators with an IQ higher than 80 and your Samsung HD television advertisements where you are inexplicably wearing shabby flip-flops.

Best wishes,

Sports Girl Kat

Your #10 fan since 1992

*************

I am off to see the Boston University Terriers take on the Crusaders of the College of the Holy Cross. The Terriers have played very well against non-conference opponents this season – they are undefeated against them – but we know what we’re pretending didn’t happen last weekend. Let’s hope this evening ends well.

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Filed under Boston University hockey, BU Terriers, college hockey, football, hockey, Monday Night Football, NFL, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young

Just When I Was Starting to Forget that Jerry Jones May In Fact Be Evil — My Bills versus Cowboys Running Diary

Seeing that the Bills only make Monday Night Football appearances every thirteen years, I figured I should probably record it for perpetuity. Well, that and I wasn’t able to join the Bills Backers of Boston down at their big Monday night party at The Harp because I had to work super early the next morning, so I had to do something special to mark the occasion. Instead, it became a running diary of how sad and trying it is to be a Bills fan and a Western New York native, especially whenever you face any professional sports team from Dallas.

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Filed under Buffalo Bills, buffalo wings, Dallas Cowboys, ESPN, fantasy football, gambling, MLB playoffs, Monday Night Football, Rochester NY, Terrence McGee, Tony Kornheiser, Trent Edwards, Western New York

This is the First Entry of My Version of Now I Can Die In Peace, which I will Compile When the Bills Unexpectedly Win the Super Bowl Sometime in the Next 5 Years

I don’t like to gamble. I cringe when my father hands me a scratch ticket for a holiday. My toes curl when my boyfriend drags me into a casino. Despite my superb football picking skills, I’ve never been tempted to place monetary bets on a week of picks. Maybe it was my penny pinching childhood. Maybe it’s because I think the existence of Native American run gaming facilities has significantly affected the social and economic status of Native Americans for the worse. When it comes to gambling, I can’t see the reward outweighing any risk.

However, I am going to take a gamble here. I am going to start writing with frenzy regarding this five week old football season. I am going to start writing with this frenzy because if I do, and the Bills, by some grace of G-d win the Super Bowl or at least get to the AFC Championship Game, I will be able to cash in. Continue reading

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Filed under Bill Simmons, Buffalo Bills, Dallas Cowboys, ESPN, gambling, Monday Night Football, New England Patriots, Rochester NY, Tony Kornheiser, Western New York

Pewter Place Withdrawal

I finished fourth. In both my leagues, I finished fourth.

If nothing, I exude consistency.

What screwed me over was the following combination of circumstances: 1) The Eagles wrapped up the NFC like sixteen years ago, and decided that Owens’ injury was their wakeup call to rest McNabb. 2) I have little access to crucial sports information in Rochester. Mind you, the Democrat and Chronicle is a fine…well, acceptable…okay, rather Bills-and-minor-league-hockey-centric newspaper. Not the best source for info. I have little internet access at home, seeing that my parents can’t take care of their iMac and still think dial-up AOL is the cutting edge of internet access. I was online once during my five days at home, for all of a half hour, and I got on all of two websites during that half hour. In addition, I didn’t get to watch a lot of ESPN or other sports related TV. So I had to set my lineups with Thursday’s info, and hope that it would carry me through.

Therefore, I lost both match-ups.

(I would insert a picture of me pouting about this here, but I don’t have a digital camera.)

However, despite this ending disappointment, I have to say that fantasy football is totally awesome, and I can not wait till next year! Thanks to everyone who played and were always there to trade and give advice. My two commissioners were fantastic as well, and I learned a lot from both of them. Thanks for finally giving me the chance to play!

Unfortunately, this week is fantasy-less, and that’s kind of weird. When I heard this afternoon that Bettis, my stud RB, was going to sit out against the Bills, I initially started thinking, “Okay, I need to switch to Martin and Droughns for this week.” Then I remembered that it was all over. So I can watch football and cheer for the teams, instead of players. Which is important, given what could happen tomorrow…

…which leads us to this week’s picks.

Baltimore over Miami

Buffalo over Pittsburgh–I want a “Bill-lieve” t-shirt. Sadly, they started selling them on Thursday, the day after I left Western New York, so I will go without. If the Red Sox can win the World Series, then the Bills can make the playoffs. And wasn’t the “Hailey’s Comet” game great if you’re a Bills fan?! I saw all of three minutes–which included a touchdown for the Bills’ offense and a sack for the Bills’ defense. Good times.

Carolina over New Orleans

Green Bay over Chicago–The last two games don’t get me excited at all. I wish they did.

Houston over Cleveland–I will go over this more in my next entry, but I’m in the middle of False Start: How the New Browns Were Set Up to Fail, and it’s a book of excuses. Really disappointing. Yes, maybe Policy screwed you over, but he wasn’t stupid. Maybe you should of taken McNabb, but don’t instruct Browns fans not to ask “What if?” and then go on and on about “What if?”

New England over San Francisco–I wish, I wish, I wish I was going to this game!!!!!!!!!

Cincinnati over Philly–A little too late for Cincy against a resting Eagles team.

Jets over St. Louis–I hope I’m wrong. I really really hope I’m wrong, and that the Bills make the playoffs instead of the oh-so-annoying Jets

Detroit over Tennessee–It’s not that the Lions are horrible. It’s that they can’t get it all together at once. Harrington could be good. They have the best coaching. Their defense isn’t too shabby. They just have to make it all work together.

Washington over Minnesota–I almost think the Washington defense deserves to make the playoffs more than the entire Vikings team. I have never really liked the Vikings, even though my family were always big Dennis Green proponents and I was raised by a huge Fran Tarkington fan. I think Tice needs to go, but I could also see where coaching turmoil could throw that team into shambles.

Tampa Bay over Arizona–Speaking of Dennis Green…

Atlanta over Seattle–Or the other way around. I don’t know. I can’t get a handle on either team.

Indianapolis over Denver–Those starters better play for the Colts, and enough to squeak out a win. However, Denver is so inconsistent, the Colts second string could trip them up.

Jacksonville over Oakland

San Diego over Kansas City–See, I almost almost ALMOST was right last week with the Chargers. I did say it was going to be close. I was so excited when I saw the score at the half of that game. Super Chargers!!!

Dallas over the Giants–My friend Brian said today that there was no reason to start Manning over Warner. However, Warner is Warner, and I can kind of understand why it was done–Warner is so inconsistent but so pompous. It would annoy the heck out of me to have him around. Why give someone playing time who will complain about the sky not being blue enough and his paycheck having a folded corner, when you can make someone’s daddy happy? Coughlin walked right into this one…remove the front office stat!

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Filed under Buffalo Bills, fantasy football, Monday Night Football, New England Patriots, Rochester NY, Uncategorized, Western New York