Category Archives: fantasy football

The Best Television Show You’re Not Watching (or ESL Theatre 3000 and NFL Opening Thoughts)

Friends, I would like to take a brief respite from all of my sports talk to champion a television show that I think you all should be watching.  A television show that has, surprisingly, brought me and the boyfriend great joy over the past few months.  A television show that has a heartwarming story, a somewhat famous actor, and just enough plot to keep you tuning in, but not enough for you to have to take notes and study philosophy (like Lost.)

Friends, let me introduce you to my new favorite television show, Connect with English. Continue reading

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Filed under Boston MA, Buffalo Bills, fantasy football, Non-Sports Posts, Rochester NY

Just When I Was Starting to Forget that Jerry Jones May In Fact Be Evil — My Bills versus Cowboys Running Diary

Seeing that the Bills only make Monday Night Football appearances every thirteen years, I figured I should probably record it for perpetuity. Well, that and I wasn’t able to join the Bills Backers of Boston down at their big Monday night party at The Harp because I had to work super early the next morning, so I had to do something special to mark the occasion. Instead, it became a running diary of how sad and trying it is to be a Bills fan and a Western New York native, especially whenever you face any professional sports team from Dallas.

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Filed under Buffalo Bills, buffalo wings, Dallas Cowboys, ESPN, fantasy football, gambling, MLB playoffs, Monday Night Football, Rochester NY, Terrence McGee, Tony Kornheiser, Trent Edwards, Western New York

I May Finally “Get” the Appeal of the Idea of Owning Something Besides a Fantasy Football Team, Like a House

Dear Upstairs (well, 4 floors upstairs) Neighbor Who Decided to Venture Onto the Roof Last Evening at Approximately 11:25pm:

I am a largely forgiving, relatively shy, and calm person. In other words, besides the rare occasion when someone makes the oh-so-incorrect claim that Joe Montana was a massively better quarterback than Steve Young to my face, I do not get overly angry.

However, Sir or Madam, I am angry at you. For some reason, you decided to venture onto the rooftop of my apartment building last night. Maybe it was to smoke up. Maybe it was to look at the eclipse event that was going to occur later on. Maybe it was because you were so drunk you opened a door you incorrectly thought was your own. For whatever reason, you opened the roof door, and triggered the fire alarm. Continue reading

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Filed under apartment living, Boston MA, fantasy football, Michael Vick, riding the T

Kat’s Job Search (But not really)

If the Niners’ want to continue being the penny-pinching misers that they’ve shown with this week’s hiring of Mike Nolan, then why not hire me?

Hmmm…

(insert daydream music here)

Katherine’s Resume

Objective: To become head coach or general manager of the San Francisco 49ers, everyone’s favorite downtrodden NFL franchise.

Education:

Boston University

Ed.M in Higher Education Administration, Expected May 2005

Binghamton University

B.A. in History, Minor in Art History, May 2004

Ithaca College

Studied Sports Information and Communication, 2000-2001

Experience:

Yahoo Fantasy Football Leagues August 2004-Janurary 2005

Finished 4 in both a 10 member and 12 member leagues, had the smart idea to pick up Brandon Stokley and Jerome Bettis just on a hunch, rode McNabb and a WR not to be named because you had problems with him to a very good regular season record until said WR had to go and hurt his freaken ankle.

Steve Young Fan January 1993-Present

Spent my formative teenage years obsessing over your former quarterback, at one point could recite his QB rating per year, what the formula was for the QB rating, and could tell you how many rushing yards he had cumulative to 1994, could also tell you when he graduated from law school, and often corrected people who thought he had brown eyes, not blue. Has taught me to be more tolerant of Republicans and to embrace Michael Irvin for the idiot he is. I can also pretty much name the entire roster of your 1994-95 Super Bowl team due to Steve Young’s inclusion on it. (Example: Off the top of my head, I can tell you the QB roster, which was Young, Elvis Gerbac, and Bill Musgrave, and can note that Doug Brien, the now embattled Jets kicker, was the kicker for said team, and that John Taylor was still on the team at that point, oh and that Brent Jones too went to BYU law, and that I often got him and Harris Barton confused, and that Steve Wallace wore a double helmet. I could go on, but I’ll spare you the memories of your glory years.)

Mountainview Housing Office Pick The Winners Regular Season Champion Fall 2003

Kicked everyone in the office’s butt when it came to picking a select number of games per week.

Extracurricular Activities:

Recreational Madden 2003 player (although I’ll admit my favourite facets of the game are the field goal training camp drills and playing the 1994 Niners versus the 1995 Niners on automatic mode. Oh, and switching Steve Young to being a Buffalo Bill.)

Requesting Salary:

$29,000 per year

(see, I’m cheap!)

(end daydream)

….see? I think I’m well qualified for what they’re willing to pay. I mean, hire me, save money, and then maybe they could use the rest to sign actual players who might make the cut on some AFC teams (some, not all. No need to get unrealistic for the rebuilding process here.)

I’m not saying that the hiring of Nolan is a farce. I mean, I did draft the Ravens defense in like the third round of the MCFFLOAT this year. Me, the non-defense girl, took a defense early. I mean, that speaks volumes about Nolan’s previous work.

However, here’s my problem, and it reflects my all-offense-all-the-time-girliness: Out of the three facets of the Niners, I feel the offense needs the most work. In the NFC, the Niners defense finished 12th, while the offense finished 13th (surprising, isn’t it? Worst team in the league, yet they are not the worst team statistically in the NFC…). However, in they finished -17 in take/give aways, meaning the Niners’ QB’s were intercepted 18 times, their players fumbled 16, all while their defense was on par or better with the Vikings and Packers (two playoff teams, by the way) in total takeaways (passes they intercepted and the fumbles they forced that resulted in a Niner procession.) The rushing and receiving statistics are pretty dismal. However, I mean, this is a team that held the Patriots to 7 points in a half, and a team that was able to shut down the Cardinals twice. I need to look at more statistics, but take those short ones and then add on that the most significant veterans they have are on defense, and that that side of the ball was put together by Jim Mora Jr. (who really isn’t a jr.) before he fled for Vick-land. They need to address the offense more than they need to do anything else, and while I recognize the oft-contended point that just because a coach is previously a defensive coordinator, doesn’t mean they will be a defensive minded head coach, I just think that a guy with such a heavy defensive background like Nolan isn’t the best guy for them. They need someone better rounded. I don’t know who they should have hired, but there has to be someone out there who would be able to address both sides of the ball effectively. But really, if the offense doesn’t improve, all the defense in the world isn’t going to help you much (i.e. the Ravens non-existent playoff appearance this season). And I don’t know if drafting a QB is the answer either. I mean, they have totally young QBs in their stable now, and no strong offensive coaching staff to develop them, and no effective offensive line to protect them. Even if you had Matt Leinart (who didn’t declare anyway), even all his USC magic would not go far if he was open to sacks like the Cask and Flagon to a Red Sox post-victory crowd.

I could go on and on. I just feel that they settled with Nolan because 1) his dad was a Niners’ coach in the 70s and 2) he’s going to be able to be paid less than say, Romeo Crennel or Jim Fassel. And that’s the bottom line with the York ownership: cheapness.

Urgh.

***

This week was the first week of classes at Boston University for the spring semester, meaning my winter break is officially over. Thus, the break of massive reading has ended. I ended up reading five books (Moneyball, False Start: How the New Browns Were Set Up to Fail, Committed: Tales of a Fantasy Football Junkie, Hockey in Rochester, and He’s Just Not Into You) and starting a sixth (Faithful). Here are my Winter Break O’ Reading Awards:

Best: (tie) Committed and Moneyball. Both astounding books: Moneyball for having so many of those lightbulb moments for me, because I am behind in understanding baseball as well as I do football or hockey, and Committed for making me laugh hystarically while also making me realize that not only are there war weirder people than me out there, but there women who have seriously taken up fantasy football up there with the hardcore bar regulars.

Most Whiney: False Start. Hands down, one of the most annoying books I’ve ever read. I was that close to finishing it, but I had to take a break because the constant talking in the second person (“You guys feel like the NFL cheated you? They did cheat you! You are miserable because the NFL is evil. Carmen Policy and you are not friends!”) Like, dude, I know people in Cleveland are miserable, but gosh, can you make less annoying arguments as to why the Browns had no control over their suckiness?

Most Degrading: He’s Just Not Into You. I’m glad to know that I, as a women, have to sit around and not take control of my own romantic life and wait around forever for any guys to ever show an interest in me, and then turn 75% of those guys who do show an interest in me down because they don’t bring me flowers every 5 seconds and/or want to spend time with their family or friends at some points. I’m also glad to know that despite how this book came about, men and women should not be friends, especially not men and women who used to date each other. Bull. Sure, there are some valid points to be learned through this book for the large majority of girls, like “get over a guy real quick once he breaks up with you, and don’t stalk them and/or call him up multiple times bawling.” But yo, I already knew that. I mean, I am Miss Queen of Successful Breakups. Basically I hate this book because it’s all about being passive, and the only active you take is dumping or rejecting guys. Last I checked, successful people weren’t successful because they were passive in life.

Best Pictures and Least Interesting to Anyone Who Is Not Me: Hockey in Rochester. Well, I’ll admit, unlike what I had thought before I got it for my birthday, it’s mainly a picture book. But a good one. The author racked tons of archives to trace hockey’s development and history in Rochester, which is pretty darn significant considering it’s all we do as Western New Yorkers. Very informative captions, but unfortunately only one Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre sighting, which is in the corner of a picture about one of the Amerks goalies. Sigh…how can they overlook the best looking Amerk of all time?!

If It Was Released Any Other Year, No One Would Buy It: Faithful. This is the first Stephen King book I’ve ever read. It’s also pointless if you don’t like the Red Sox and would be pointless had the Red Sox not won the World Series this year. However, I enjoy it, and will be fitting it in around my schoolwork.

And Best Movie of Break (okay, I know these are book awards, but I had to throw it in here): In Good Company. Awesome movie. Definitely worth all the hype that I had built up for myself after seeing the preview a few months back.

***

I was in the first day of my Distance Education course the other day, and the professor mentioned, “…the needs of adult learners, such as yourselves…”

I looked around the room, and began the following internal conversation: “Sure, they’re all adults in this class…wait. Does he think I’m an adult? No, I’m not. I’m 23. I’m still a…oh wait. I’m 23. I’m an adult. No, I can’t be. Nope, I think I’m an adult. Oh my gosh, I’m an adult. A grown up. I’m not a kid. I may still look like one, but nope, definitely an adult.”

That was the most depressing moment, like, ever.

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Filed under 2005, fantasy football, San Fransisco 49ers, Steve Young

Pewter Place Withdrawal

I finished fourth. In both my leagues, I finished fourth.

If nothing, I exude consistency.

What screwed me over was the following combination of circumstances: 1) The Eagles wrapped up the NFC like sixteen years ago, and decided that Owens’ injury was their wakeup call to rest McNabb. 2) I have little access to crucial sports information in Rochester. Mind you, the Democrat and Chronicle is a fine…well, acceptable…okay, rather Bills-and-minor-league-hockey-centric newspaper. Not the best source for info. I have little internet access at home, seeing that my parents can’t take care of their iMac and still think dial-up AOL is the cutting edge of internet access. I was online once during my five days at home, for all of a half hour, and I got on all of two websites during that half hour. In addition, I didn’t get to watch a lot of ESPN or other sports related TV. So I had to set my lineups with Thursday’s info, and hope that it would carry me through.

Therefore, I lost both match-ups.

(I would insert a picture of me pouting about this here, but I don’t have a digital camera.)

However, despite this ending disappointment, I have to say that fantasy football is totally awesome, and I can not wait till next year! Thanks to everyone who played and were always there to trade and give advice. My two commissioners were fantastic as well, and I learned a lot from both of them. Thanks for finally giving me the chance to play!

Unfortunately, this week is fantasy-less, and that’s kind of weird. When I heard this afternoon that Bettis, my stud RB, was going to sit out against the Bills, I initially started thinking, “Okay, I need to switch to Martin and Droughns for this week.” Then I remembered that it was all over. So I can watch football and cheer for the teams, instead of players. Which is important, given what could happen tomorrow…

…which leads us to this week’s picks.

Baltimore over Miami

Buffalo over Pittsburgh–I want a “Bill-lieve” t-shirt. Sadly, they started selling them on Thursday, the day after I left Western New York, so I will go without. If the Red Sox can win the World Series, then the Bills can make the playoffs. And wasn’t the “Hailey’s Comet” game great if you’re a Bills fan?! I saw all of three minutes–which included a touchdown for the Bills’ offense and a sack for the Bills’ defense. Good times.

Carolina over New Orleans

Green Bay over Chicago–The last two games don’t get me excited at all. I wish they did.

Houston over Cleveland–I will go over this more in my next entry, but I’m in the middle of False Start: How the New Browns Were Set Up to Fail, and it’s a book of excuses. Really disappointing. Yes, maybe Policy screwed you over, but he wasn’t stupid. Maybe you should of taken McNabb, but don’t instruct Browns fans not to ask “What if?” and then go on and on about “What if?”

New England over San Francisco–I wish, I wish, I wish I was going to this game!!!!!!!!!

Cincinnati over Philly–A little too late for Cincy against a resting Eagles team.

Jets over St. Louis–I hope I’m wrong. I really really hope I’m wrong, and that the Bills make the playoffs instead of the oh-so-annoying Jets

Detroit over Tennessee–It’s not that the Lions are horrible. It’s that they can’t get it all together at once. Harrington could be good. They have the best coaching. Their defense isn’t too shabby. They just have to make it all work together.

Washington over Minnesota–I almost think the Washington defense deserves to make the playoffs more than the entire Vikings team. I have never really liked the Vikings, even though my family were always big Dennis Green proponents and I was raised by a huge Fran Tarkington fan. I think Tice needs to go, but I could also see where coaching turmoil could throw that team into shambles.

Tampa Bay over Arizona–Speaking of Dennis Green…

Atlanta over Seattle–Or the other way around. I don’t know. I can’t get a handle on either team.

Indianapolis over Denver–Those starters better play for the Colts, and enough to squeak out a win. However, Denver is so inconsistent, the Colts second string could trip them up.

Jacksonville over Oakland

San Diego over Kansas City–See, I almost almost ALMOST was right last week with the Chargers. I did say it was going to be close. I was so excited when I saw the score at the half of that game. Super Chargers!!!

Dallas over the Giants–My friend Brian said today that there was no reason to start Manning over Warner. However, Warner is Warner, and I can kind of understand why it was done–Warner is so inconsistent but so pompous. It would annoy the heck out of me to have him around. Why give someone playing time who will complain about the sky not being blue enough and his paycheck having a folded corner, when you can make someone’s daddy happy? Coughlin walked right into this one…remove the front office stat!

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Filed under Buffalo Bills, fantasy football, Monday Night Football, New England Patriots, Rochester NY, Uncategorized, Western New York

Why I Got Stares on the T…and not just from sketchy skeevy men

The Life of a Sports Girl:

After supervising the Family Recreation program all morning and checking in on the Programming Council ticket sales for a hour or so (Gavin DeGraw, Oct. 14th!!!!), I walked down to Barnes and Noble. My aim was to get my mom’s birthday gift (nun-related for the 4th year in a row.) I walked out with that and Patriot Reign, the new book about Bill Belichick and the Patriots that’s mentioned everywhere you turn around there.

Now mind you, I’m wearing a cute bebe rhinestone top, low cut jeans, my sequined slippers, with my hair curly and half-up and I have my makeup all done, because that’s just the way I am. And here I am, buying this book. They must of thought I was buying it for my non-existent boyfriend or something.

So I’m sitting on the T (the subway for those of you non-Bostonians), reading this book. I can’t even count how many weird looks I got over my 15 minute T ride. It was like I had put my pants on backward or was wearing hot pink and red together. See, in Boston, you have a lot of girls who know sports. They can talk the talk. They know that Crennel is not a spice and they could pick Weis out of a crowd on a B Line train headed inbound at 7pm on a Friday night. They can even name offensive linemen. They’ll appear with the Globe sports section, but there are doubts if they’re actually reading it. But never, ever, ever do you ever find a girl devouring a book about sports. Especially a girly girl.

In the style of the little old crabby man on The Simpsons, “This is how I live my every daaaaayyyyyyy.”

*****

I HAVE NFL NETWORK!

I just discovered this 20 minutes ago. Yes, our cable was installed almost two weeks ago, but I haven’t been able to sit here and wander the channels until right now. And I have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, all my goals for the year have been fulfilled:

1) Graduate from Binghamton.

2) Move to Boston.

3) Date another guy before my 23rd birthday.

4) Get NFL Network.

I am never moving from this couch.

Ever.

And I must let you know, that within 10 minutes of me discovering that I have this channel, they showed a random Super Bowl highlight of Super Bowl XXIX, including the famous line of Steve Young’s playoff speech: “…and no one can ever, ever, EVER take this away from us! EVER!” And then he practically makes out with the Lombardi trophy.

Does NFL Network have ESP? Did it want to properly welcome me?

******

Picks for the week:

Pittsburgh over Cincinnati – I’m all for rooting for people who are my age. I’m also all about people who have long, unpronounceable last names. Therefore, I’m all about Ben Rothlisberger. Also, my favourite fantasy running backs are on this team.

Indianapolis over Jacksonville – I hate the Colts.

Oakland over Houston –Oakland has an old but steady defense. It’s a toss up for me, but I have to go with the old over the new in this one.

New England over Buffalo – Tear, tear, sniffle, sniffle. My Bills are going to get decimated by a much better team. To over-reference Pedro Martinez, the Patriots are the Bills daddy. Tom Brady’s awesomely amazingly gorgeous, so it makes it a little better.

Philadelphia over Chicago – Chicago hasn’t been memorable since Steve Walsh. I rest my case.

Cleveland over Washington – I watched Monday Night Football while writing my Perspectives on Higher Education paper. And maybe I missed something, but Gibbs seems to think that a NFL sideline is a frantic and messy NASCAR pit, and Gregg Williams needs to be banned from coaching. But I was under the influence of the defense of the American community college system, so I could be wrong.

Green Bay over the Giants – I am currently watching “In Their Own Words” on NFL Network, and the profile is on Brett Favre. The man has a wicked sense of humor. I’m learning to like him. My hatred of the Packers kind of delayed my realization that he’s actually an amazingly good quarterback. But now the hatred clouds have lifted somewhat, and I appreciate him for what he is, which is not just the owner of a sexy Southern accent.

Carolina over Atlanta – Vick is stealing Young’s thunder. But I’m happy for Jim Mora Jr. Liked his father as a coach, liked him as the 49ers defensive coordinator, and so far, he’s not doing too bad of a job with the Falcons. But it’s the Panthers at home, coming off a bye. I side with the Delhomme led Panthers in this one, even though Delhomme doesn’t strike me as an interesting QB yet.

New Orleans over Arizona –Poor poor Denny Green.

Jets over Miami — Who is the Dolphins third string QB? What would the harm be in starting him? It’s not like they could do worse than Feely and Fielder.

Tennessee over San Diego — Sing it with me: San Di-e-go, Super Chargers, San Di-e-go! Now realize that that was now a decade ago, and they will never be super again…unless they start Flutie. Note to anyone looking to gift shop for me: I would like a Chargers Flutie jersey before he gets forced into retirement. One I could wear (meaning it would have to be a boys size). I’ll really never get it, but I’m just saying, if you can think of nothing else to get me for a holiday, get me that.

Hold on, wait, they’re doing a montage of Favre’s father and they’re talking about last December’s

Packers-Raiders game. Excuse me while I tear up.

Okay, back now.

Denver over Tampa Bay –aka, the two teams I know nothing about. But I’ve never really liked Jon Gruden, except for this quote from ESPN’s Page 2 last year–warning: explicit quote ahead:

“Bucs head coach Jon Gruden, reveals that he lost his virginity at age 17, in South Bend, Indiana. ‘I lost my virginity to the Notre Dame fight song,’ Gruden says. ‘There was a band?’ asks Playboy. ‘No, not even music,’ Gruden replies. ‘But it was in my mind.”

I like that quote because it finally gave me the answer to what men are REALLY thinking about all the time. Not sex, but the Notre Dame fight song.

San Francisco over St. Louis – Upset special! Rattay is back, we always know the best 49ers QBs are always somewhat concussed, and everyone is down on Martz. First win of the season right here.

Baltimore over Kansas City – A win which will hopefully be leading me to another successful week in the MCFFLOAT (most competitive fantasy football league of all time, previously referred to as the MCFFLYCPEBI, but I’ve finally found a much better acronym.)

Last week: 10-4. This week…hmm…the fact that so many teams I’ve picked to lose are at home…I’ll play it safe and say 8-6.

******

Mini-Oreos (aka, small little things that I just arbitrarily decided that I would call mini-oreos):

I was watching MTV Hits earlier, and again, I emphasize: Alicia Keys, he doesn’t know your name because you are STALKING HIM. Thank you.

About my workaholicism: I am fully aware of it. I wish I didn’t have to work all this much. But I do, and it’s going to be a part of my life for just a few more months. So bare with me.

Legal Issues in Higher Education is a hard class, but it’s so worth it. I love that class–the three hours just fly by as the 20 of us just debate and discuss the cases. And the cases are interesting to read, even if you don’t know all of the terminology.

No Bingo Homecoming because I have to work Boston University’s showings of the Red Sox playoff games. I get to arrange them all and everything. It’s a major task, and I hope to do a great job, because if I can really pull this off, it’ll look awesome in my portfolio. I’ll miss you guys though, and I’m sure Homecoming will be fantastic. But this is one of my dream jobs, and I really want to give it my best shot.

Speaking of Dream Jobs: The right two people were booted off Dream Job this week. It got moved to Tuesday nights at midnight, so I can watch it. However, we are now down to one female representative, and it’s only the third week, and I don’t think she’ll hang on much longer. But in happier news, there are some total hotties this season (both Jasons in particular), although I doubt anyone can top the loveableness of the original Dream Job Mike.

Speaking of total hotties, if anyone wants to set me up with any nice, sports-loving, my age or older, happy, and all-in-all lovable Bostonian men, please let me know. I’m all for it.

And I finish with my quote of the week: “Collinsworth asked Marino, Carter and Carter’s eyebrows the following question: ‘If you could take one QB in a game for all the marbles, who would you take: Manning, Brady, McNabb or Favre?’ Marino thinks about it, then takes Manning, and rightly so — famous QBs who can’t win anything when it matters always stick together.” -Bill Simmons

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Filed under Boston MA, fantasy football, NFL

Christmas in September: The Dolphins, Week 3 picks, and a Plea to the NHL


The following thought came to me while walking to the T Friday morning, and I had to share:

It’s Christmas in September, thanks to the Miami Dolphins.

Da-da-da-dum.

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week.

In case you are football illiterate, the Dolphins have always had this tendency to really…how do I put this kindly…suck around December. Several sportswriters always make reference to the annual December downfall of the Dolphins (and not just because it’s excellent alliteration.) But this year, they’ve decided to not have actual ready-for-the-NFL quarterbacks, and therefore, their suckiness has come along four months early. Nice to all of us of fans of other teams in the AFC East, because it means the constant threat of “this actually is the Dolphins’ year” doesn’t exist. Great news to us Bills fans–it means we actually might be better than someone this year. Squishing the fish shouldn’t be too hard this year, providing Bledsoe maintains the limited quarterbacking capacity he has left. It might actually be a good game…and by good, I mean, “evenly matched up.” I didn’t actually mean the teams were good. Oh no, not at all.

But is this game this weekend? No. Do I get to get phone calls from my parents talk about squishing fish and reminiscing about the infamous “Mom causing Dan Marino’s freak devastating ACL injury in 1993” incident, which led my father for years following to ask us all when we hurt ourselves, “Oh, is it your anterior cruciate ligament?” thinking that was the most witty remark he could ever make? (I don’t even know if it was an ACL injury to Marino–but in Hasenauer lore it is.)

No.

It is a bye for the Pats and Bills. Unfortunately, it is not for the Niners. Can the Niners’ go on a permanent bye until Donahue and the rest of his front office decides that in football, money is for spending, not sitting on? Great, you’re rebuilding your team with draft picks. Fine. That’s a commendable way to go. However…if you don’t have veterans, who are the draft picks supposed to emulate? Sure, they have…like one veteran. Jeremy Newberry, who is now out indefinitely, and who wasn’t the best offensive lineman ever in the first place (he’s the one who missed the block that allowed Aeneas Williams to sack Steve Young to end his career) counts as their like one veteran. Tim Rattay? Not a veteran. Okay, wait, they have a really good cornerback guy that I read about in ESPN the Magazine…and he’s not such the young chicken. Oh okay. I was wrong. The Niners have two veterans. My mistake.

Mind you, due to work, I have yet to watch a good amount of football yet this season, and we are entering week 3. This is a travesty. However, I have set aside this Sunday to wake up at 10, eat breakfast, then sit in bed and watch Steve Young out yell Michael Irvin for two hours while Chris Berman screams random things about frozen tundras. It’s good stuff. For those unaware, that’s the equivalent of watching a debate between that good looking and amazingly successful guy everyone hates because he just knows he’s right and has some kind of debate training to back it up and a frantic drug addict who insists that he’s right despite the fact that he couldn’t tell you that 2 + 2 = 4, all while your middle aged goofy uncle attempts to referee. Oh, and after that I’ll watch some football games, all while writing a paper about the “double edged sword” of community colleges. Ahh, some things never change: Sundays = football and homework. Well, until next year, when it equals just football, which will be amazingly weird.

So providing that I’ve neglected picking games so far this season due to my busy schedule and my need to devote appropriate time to my fantasy standings, I give you my picks for Week 3. I may be rusty, so let me feel it out this weekend.

St. Louis over New Orleans (I am the most iffy about this one)

Pittsburgh over Miami (Go Class of ’04!)

Minnesota over Chicago (I hate the Vikings. I pity the Bears. However, I am realistic.)

Giants over Cleveland (Hate Garcia. The Browns also lost like their whole offense last week, so Garcia must be lamenting that he would of had more offensive weapons right now on the Niners than he does right now with the Browns.)

Atlanta over Arizona (Vick = A cocky Steve Young. Arizona = worst team ever except for Fitzgerald and the fact that their coach is Dennis Green. My family is partial to Green, and I don’t really know why, but we always have been.)

Indianapolis over Green Bay (This is Manning’s league right now, whether he deserves it or not.)

Baltimore over Cincinnati (and if they don’t, I’m screwed fantasy wise)

Philadelphia over Detroit (Love ya Mooch. However, I adore the anchors of both my fantasy teams just a bit more, and after Monday night, I am convinced that I made the right decision with them.)

Tennessee over Jacksonville (Second least sure about. I hope I get to see some of this one–I don’t know what either team is really like this year, and seeing them is ten times better than reading about them after a while.)

Kansas City over Houston (The Chiefs are due. They aren’t as bad as everyone is making them out to be. They just have senile, weirdo, or both coaches and coordinators.)

Denver over San Diego (Bring back Flutie!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, you know Flutie would beat Plummer. You know Flutie would beat Drew Brees for that matter. Or maybe it’s just I who will still be picking Flutie when he’s 60 and doing Canadian infomericals.)

Seattle over San Fransisico (Sniffle, sniffle, tear. Dorsey’s hot. Rattay’s not bad. Why must they lose?)

Oakland over Tampa Bay (Even though Oakland got rid of Rick Mirer. He’s gone to a better place, and that would be backing up Joey Harrington. Sigh…where did the Class of 1993 go wrong?)

Washington over Dallas (Feel better soon, Brunell. Although I have been told never to pick against Parcells, I think it’s safe to this year.)

I think I’ll be lucky if I go 7-7 this week. It takes a week for me to get into the swing of the season.

******

Welcome to the SAO:

Two weekends ago, I had to take the student group I advise on a retreat, and the car ride activity in the van I was in was to name your Top 5. Of course, I being the new intern, I was one of the first targets. Of the top of my head I named:

1) Steve Young

2) Mark Brunell

3) Tom Brady

4) Jerome Ignilia

5) Gabe Kapler

Not that those are really my top 5, but they were what I could come up with at the time. My boss laughed at me, and when we were talking about it in the office a few days later, said, “To name her top 5, all you do is just name 3-4 NFL quarterbacks and then fill the rest with two random athletes.”

I beg to differ. Gabe Kapler is not a random athlete. He’s the hottest baseball player ever to exist in the history of the game. That’s definitely not random.

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A short plea to the NHL:

Dear NHL players, owners, and involved parties;

I have recently become single again, therefore I need you to start playing so that I can be easily distracted from my single status. I also have become somewhat attached to writing papers while listening to NHL Radio online, and I fear without that to listen to, my grades will diminish. While I understand I’m probably the last one holding out hope left in America, and that this further proves what a Canadian I really am, I hope that you all take my reasons into account.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

-Katherine

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So I take the bus to work about 60% of the time now. And they have these prerecorded announcements that order us, the T riders, to “report any suspicious activity to the driver,” like the subway does.

Have you ever taken a bus in Boston? If I followed those instructions, I would be sitting in the driver’s lap the duration of my 20 minute ride.

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Personal Note of the Week: I am 3 for 3 in “not only keeping all composure while being dumped, but in keeping the guy as a friend.” I need to teach classes in this. I am single handedly transforming the stereotype of the dumped girl, one breakup of mine at a time.

I’ll give you secret #1, free of charge.

1) Have six tons of work due the next day.

It’s saved me quite a few times, if not all.

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I have yet to catch the new season of Dream Job because I work Tuesday nights, and ESPN is not repeating it yet, but it doesn’t surprise me that the two top contestants right now are Syracuse alums. When I went to the auditions back in July, the guy I thought would definitely make it from Boston was a Syracuse alum. They’re extremely well-spoken and definitely know what they’re doing. This guy had resumes, a tape of his work, references, detailed writing examples…when we hadn’t been asked to bring anything. It was hard core.

It also sounds like the women stink this year. I will make no comment on that, except that you could of avoided that by picking any girl from Boston. It makes me not wonder if they don’t want the women to succeed…but I’ll wait to pass judgment until I can actually see an episode.

Realistically, could I ever make it on Dream Job? Heck no. I mean, in case you haven’t noticed, I stutter. Not the best trait for a sportscaster to have. So I don’t mind sitting back and watching.

If I ever get to catch an episode, that is.

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Signs that my life is wicked different than it was five months ago:

It’s sad when you get up at 8:30, and you consider that sleeping in.

I can shop at Sephora.

My jeans are collecting dust because I can’t wear them to work.

I can go shopping at the Pru and at Copley on my free Friday nights. (I love Back Bay on Friday and Saturday nights. It’s the epitome of what I dreamed my life in Boston would be like.)

But some things never change: I work either Friday or Saturday night every weekend, and it’s September, and I’m battling laryngitis.

Till next time…

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