Stop me if you’ve heard this one:
I’m on the bus this morning, with my new blondish copper highlights, my fake Kate Spade Bag, and my 4 inch heels (and yes, those things do hurt by the end of the day), and I realize that Boston is much like Long Island when it comes to unexpected snow: it freaks the heck out. Granted, the inch this morning surprised even me, but still–I expected more from Bostonians. So I’m on the bus, and I realize that this is going to be a long ride from Chestnut Hill, so I take out my new copy of Moneyball (book one on the “Cram in a bunch of reading for fun over three weeks inbetween semesters” list).
I look up, and a sixty something guy is staring incredulously at me. And it wasn’t one of those sixty year olds up here in Boston that think that they actually have a chance with a twenty something girl on public transportation, but someone who honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I let it go, probably because of what had happened the night before when I went to buy the book. I knew exactly what I was looking for, promptly found it and went to the cashier. “Moneyball! One of our biggest sellers for the holidays!” he exclaimed.
“I can imagine. I’ve read so much about it.” I acknowledged.
The cashier nodded. “It does make a great gift.”
I took out my wallet. “Oh, it’s not a gift. It’s for me.”
I looked up to see the now-silent cashier for a second and looked confused. “Oh…well, um…..shouldn’t you be uh, studying or something?”
“Well, I’ll start it after I finish my law paper.”
“Oh…well, yeah. I’m sure you’ll….uh, like the book.”
Can’t a girl just read her Moneyball in peace? I have three weeks to make it through that, False Start: How the New Browns Were Doomed to Fail, When the Tuna Went Down to Texas, and Committed: Confessions of a Fantasy Football Junkie.
Speaking of fantasy football junkies, I think I’m heading into the week where injuries are going to catch up with me. In the MCFFLOAT I have four wide recievers. Three of them are listed as questionable this week. And of course this is the week of the playoffs where I go up against the number one seed, the guy who never loses. I had such hope until I realized that I was playing him in this round. I mean, I made it into the championship bracket! There was no place else to go but up! I mean, if there was a Cinderella fantasy football story, I could of been it! (Hey, it was established earlier that I can handle uncomfortable shoes.)
And of course, he wins his matchup and there I go. It’s midnight. Fantasy Football Cinderella is going to go back to lusting after Tom Brady and Kyle Boller, and sit quietly on her vast football knowledge until next year. Sigh…it was a nice run while it lasted.
Of course, I’m totally omitting the fact that I won the regular season for my other league, where I feel like the only people still really paying attention anymore would be me and my old boss Jeff. That was not a Cinderella story, for that league is made up of Binghamton-ites who know I know football, and who reside in a part of the state where football isn’t as crucial to everyday life as it is up here in Massachusetts. (Baseball is their water, football is their bread. Take away both, and I’m convinced Massachusetts residents would wither like the fifty-cent roses we used to have at the flower store where I worked over the summer.) So really, it’s been a really successful season in both leagues, and I shouldn’t be lamenting.
Okay, I’m half awake at this point, so quick picks before I slump over into my computer and the rest of this entry becomes a couple of paragraphs typed by my nose. (I’d attempt some spreads, but I’m still glazed over from the law paper I finished writing this afternoon.)
Pittsburgh over the Giants–Thanks a lot, Eli. Because of your incompetence in even handing off the ball to Barber or tossing it to Shockey, my student worker/fantasy football confidant Chris fell to second in his league for the first time all season. Way to scar a kid going into finals.
Washington over San Fran–I feel like the words of the teeny-popper of the moment, JoJo, best describe my feelings towards Erickson and the entire front office staff of the 49ers. And I quote:
It’s too late, and I can’t wait
For you to be gone.”
Such depth! I feel like so much work went into crafting this wonderfully articulate song. My brain is working overtime trying to figure out all the hidden meanings of this song.
But really, all sarcasticness aside, someone needs to schedule an intervention for this team. It’s that bad.
Carolina over Atlanta–I honestly have no idea. I’m having a football pizza party Saturday night, and the lone invitee-who-is-not-my-roommate e-mailed and said, “I wish there were better games to watch. I don’t care about the NFC.” But it’s just the novelty of NFL on a Saturday that this party is built around, so it’ll work.
Houston over Chicago
Buffalo over Cincinnati–Of course the Bills go on this streak when I don’t live in New York State. Gotta love it. To think I had written them off…but then again, we’re finally in a playoff race, meaning we’ll collapse horribly, giving all of Western New Yorkers a pitiful end to their holiday season. Happy Holidays, Bills fans! We’re the new Red Sox fans of the world, except at least the Red Sox had some World Series already stashed in there. Bills fans aren’t having a bad century, they’re having a hurtful existance.
Minnesota over Detroit
San Diego over Cleveland–Excuse me, but I’m noticing that a certain team may be doing a bit better now that a certain QB is out for the season. Never mind that it happened to coinside with the firing of a troubled coach. I’d just thought it needed to be put out there.
Jets over Seattle
Philadephia over Dallas–Does anyone call out, “Go ‘Cuse!” at the tv screen when McNabb does something great? Is it just me and the Western New Yorkness?
Denver over Kansas City–Fun game Monday night by the Chiefs. I didn’t get to see it, but listened to it over the radio. Of course I miss all the offensive funhouses. Of course.
St. Louis over Arizona–Can this game just not count? I swear, I’d rather watch San Fran.
Tampa Bay over New Orleans
Green Bay over Jacksonville–Everyone says next year is the year for the Jags. But didn’t they say that last year too?
Oakland over Tennessee
Indianapolis over Baltimore–I haven’t spoken to my father about this game, but I can hear him right now, “Over course Indy will win. They’ll rig it if they have to. They want him to get that record on national TV. It’s the same reason Favre was scheduled on Monday Night Football at his 200th start.”
New England over Miami–Of course, my first homeworkless Monday night, and I get this game. If the Bills (or at least the Western NY media) danced around the idea of Marv Levy returning when Gregg Williams was done with, then I swear in the next week, if Saban doesn’t sign, then you’re going to hear the Don Shula rumor. And not his younger son either.
Last week: 13-3. This week: Probably worse.