Okay, so I went to brush my teeth and get ready to bed on Friday night. And for some reason I started thinking about eighth grade. (I know, pretty darn random.) Specifically, I remember my homeroom/math teacher asking me what other quarterbacks I liked other than Steve Young. And I remember having two QBs to answer him with, one of whom was Mark Brunell, who was in his first year with the Jaguars. But I was completely blanking on who the other was I mentioned. I knew he played with the Bears…but not for too long…

So this was super bugging me, so I went back to my room, opened up the laptop, and looked up Bears quarterbacks, and I found him: Steve Walsh. Anyway, I crawled into my bed and started making a list of all the quarterbacks I’ve ever liked–I mean, well, okay thought was hot–over the years. And while number one is such a given that I shouldn’t even mention it, the others might surprise you.

And I’ll say it to start off: I know this is petty. I know I sound like a drooling girl. However, you have to understand why I got into football in the first place: when the other girls were watching Home Improvement to gaggle over JTT and drooling over Zach Morris on Saved by the Bell, I was watching Fox NFL Sunday. These are who I had my little girl celebrity crushes on. This is why I got into football in the first place.

So without further adu…


(well, from 1992-today)

5) Tie:

Steve Walsh

Okay, he wasn’t the most memorable quarterback ever. He started for the Bears in 1994 and played in the divisional playoff game against the 49ers where the Niners just ripped them to shreds and where Steve Young ran in for a touchdown in the second quarter and spiked the ball (the only time Steve Young taunted that I remember). And then he was replaced the next year with Erik Kramer, who I thought was so not hot. (Remember that the year was 1994. I make no apologies for my reasoning at the time.) Before that he played with the Saints. He never really did anything memorable, except that if you think about it, taking the Bears to the playoffs is a pretty darn big deal considering that they’ve stunk more times lately than they’ve done well.

I would tell you more about him, except I went to go find my football card of his I could of sworn I had this morning and I couldn’t find it. So Dad, if you’re reading this, can you look through the cards I left with you at home and see if you can find it? Thanks.

Older Brett Favre

Yes, I’m coming out and saying it: I now think Brett Favre is good looking. Now, mind you, I’ve spent the last ten years hating him. And then over break, I’m watching TV with my Mom, and the MasterCard “Monday Morning Quarter-backs” commercial comes on, and we both look at each other. “Wow, he’s gotten better looking as he’s gotten older.” she said. I just stared at the tv. He’s not bad. Not at all. And he’s not a bad QB. I mean, he has set millions of records, and he does seem to always get the job done…well, except in the divisional playoffs two weeks ago, but that was a rare occurrence. I mean, if he didn’t always beat the Niners, maybe I would have been able to overcome my disgust a while ago, but no, he always wins. And that’s annoying. But he’s hot. But I’m not putting any pictures up or anything. It doesn’t run that deep. Maybe if he lost to the Niners a few times, I could move him up a few spaces…but nah.

Hey, I just realized something. Both of my number 5s wore/wear number 4. So maybe they should be number 4, and then number one on this list could be number 0…but nah.

4) Marc Bulger

The 2003 Quarterback Challenge. Watch it. Find pictures from it. Drool with me.

The Quarterback Challenge, for those of you unfamiliar with it, is broadcast around the end of July every year (usually on the weekend of my Dad’s birthday). It’s the stupidest event ever, I think just a chance to hype up the preseason. They get some of the most popular quarterbacks of the last few years and they compete against each other in events such as “Throw the Ball at the Golf Cart–I mean, Moving Target!” But the good thing is that they are all looking extra good. Maybe it’s the summer tan. Maybe it’s the fact that they don’t have helmet hair. Well, anyway, I watched it for the first time in two years this summer, and while I had found Bulger attractive before, this really did me in. Great stuff. Oh, and he didn’t do too bad either.

3)Tom Brady

He’s a new addition, thanks to my friend Caitlin and our discussion while waiting for the commuter rail to her house a few weeks back. I knew he was good looking, (Caitlin e-mailed me several times after the Patriots won the Super Bowl back in 2002 and talked about how incredibly hot he was. I’m a Bills fan, so I didn’t really care at the time.) However, once I paid a little more attention to him, the more I realized he may be hot. He’s also a very consistent quarterback. And even if the offense isn’t as flashy as I’d like, he does pass the ball (and unlike the Bills, people CATCH it. I mean, what a concept, throwing when you have receivers. The opposite would also work, you know, Mr. Gilbride. Like if you don’t have healthy receivers, don’t pass. Maybe run the ball. Maybe think once and a while. Sorry, that was a random Bills rant.) Not as much running it in for the touchdown. Short passes for big gains and touchdowns. Nice stuff, I enjoy it.

Brady now adorns my desktop wallpaper. When my suitemates decided that plastering the common room with Orlando Bloom might be an acceptable idea for this semester (they haven’t done it yet), I asked if we could make a little space for Tom. Seeing that I’m moving to Boston in T minus four months, he may make it further on this list soon. I don’t know though.

2) Mark Brunell

Okay, so I have a thing for guys who are left handed. Maybe it’s that I hold my utensils like a lefty? I don’t know. Well, anyway, I’ve thought he was hot since eighth grade. I heard all of these comparisons saying that Brunell was the next Young, that they both could be running backs, that they were both leftys, and so I decided to check it out. Mark Brunell has continuously been good, but it always feels like he’s forgotten. Like you had Young, Favre, Elway, Bledsoe, Aikman…and then Brunell just kind of did just as well, but never really could get fully recognized. I hope he finds a good home somewhere (man, I sound like I’m talking about a dog up for adoption or something.) Plus, he did a football card once with Steve Young. I don’t have it, but I remember seeing a feature on it on that kids NFL show that used to be on. I wanted that card blown up poster size and placed next to my bed, or better yet, on my ceiling. Ahh, to be fourteen again…or not.

1) Steve Young

Okay, I won’t ramble. We all know my feelings on him. Super good player, super good analyst, super hot guy. But, although he’s number one, he does have his downsides, the biggest one being that he’s Republican. Boo. Besides that, though, he is wicked hot. And he was the best quarterback ever, and not just because he was hot. He was way too much fun to watch. I mean, sure, he backed off running as he got concussion ridden, but back in 1994, he was so much fun. He could throw to Rice, hand it off to Watters, or just run it himself. And they would score no matter what. True, his supporting cast had a lot to do with it, but I think his team leadership did more for that team than sometimes his performance. Remember when the Niners lost to the Eagles in 94, and Young was wicked angry and just went off on Seifert? And from that game on, the tone on that team changed.

So maybe Favre, Montana, McNabb, whoever can set more records, call more audibles, win more Super Bowls, rush for more yards in the postseason, all of that. Maybe Young wouldn’t of done all of this without people like Rice, Hearst, Stokes, Owens (blech), and his line. But you know what? I think he would of. He did go without Rice for a season. And I think those players came there and wanted to stay there because of Young. They knew that in scrunch time, he could put it together.

I rest my case. You will never convince me differently. (Well…I do no longer think he’s the sexiest man alive. I thought I’d think that forever. So…nah. That’s my only concession. He’ll always be up there in everything else.)

So there you are, my top five hottest quarterbacks of all time. I’m sorry Kit, that I mentioned the Brett man. I had to get it off my chest. If you have any additions, feel more than free to give them to me.

BONUS: Oh, and for the over-40 set out there, I present my Mom’s Hottest Three NFL Quarterbacks of all time (complied from years of my mom walking into the living room while my Dad and I watched football).

In no particular order (yet–I’ll ask her): Jeff Hostetler (Raiders), Brett Favre, and Flannel-Shirt-Wearing-With-Sixteen-Kids-Buffalo-Era Drew Bledsoe.


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